Great Ways to be Long-Distance Grandparents

This summer, vacationing long-distance grandparents may reunite with faraway grandkids. Here are some ways to stay connected before and after your visit.

Californians Rosemary and Bernie are long-distance grandparents to 4 1/2-year-old Amalia. A newborn grandchild, Iyara, lives close by.

Luckily, these grandparents get to see Amalia every three months or so because she just lives a state away. Either she visits them or they visit her; the average stay is seven to ten days.

Long-Distance Engagement

Oma (grandma in German) and Gung Gung (grandpa in Cantonese) have always looked for creative ways to bridge the separation. One idea was to make videos, like this one. Rosemary, a semi-retired recipe developer and artisan bread baker, shows Amalia how to make pizza while Bernie helms the camera. They post these videos privately.

“I use the InShot video editor app (paid subscription) and I think it’s well worth it, but there are other options like iMovie (free),” Rosemary says.

You can do a video on any subject and it doesn’t have to be polished–a picnic in the park, working in your garden; or playing with your pet. It’s not about the content; you just want your grandchild to see your face and hear your voice.

Rosemary also made a custom board book, writing the text and uploading her own photos. “The book gave Amalia pictures she could hold. It was a fun thing,” Rosemary recalls.

For a simple, DIY version, make a board book with cardboard, cut-out photo images, and loose-leaf binder rings, as we did on “Call Me Grandma!”

Make your own DIY board book.

Like many long-distance grandparents, Rosemary and Bernie enjoy FaceTime calls with Amalia and they often read stories to her from their substantial picture book library.

Because Amalia’s mother Erika works from home as a designer and maker of handcrafted jewelry, the 20 minutes spent virtually with Amalia, frees their daughter to concentrate on her work.

Still, it’s a balancing act, Rosemary acknowledges. Amalia’s mom doesn’t want the child overly dependent on screen time.

If the FaceTime conversation wanes, Rosemary will give Amalia a tour of her own environment. She’ll show the child her backyard, visit the garage to see what Gung Gung is up to, or entertain her by focusing her camera on construction activities happening up the street.

Managing the Visit

When she visits, there is much for Amalia to do. The grandparents keep a cupboard of stuffed animals and provide a stroller that was their daughters’. She also can drive a Cozy Coup Car.

Rosemary and Bernie are fortunate to have an extra room in their house dedicated to their visiting family. “It’s nice that we are able to let Amalia have a space of her own when they visit,” Rosemary acknowledges.

The child has her own “office,” a desk filled with art supplies—scissors, markers, and paper. There are always a few treats and surprises in one of the drawers.

Sometimes, Rosemary and Amalia garden or cook meals together. The child gets to do the chopping with kid-safe Tovla knives that Rosemary purchased for this activity.

At other times, grandma and grandchild might make fresh pasta together. Amalia loves rolling and draping the cut pasta, as evidenced in an Instagram post Rosemary shared. Another favorite kitchen activity is making Lebkuchen at Christmas.

During her stay, the grandparents take photos and videos to document Amalia’s visit.

Managing the Parting

“When she leaves, it’s a letdown, putting away all the things and getting the house back to normal,” Rosemary says. “But it’s also a bit of a relief. We’re not used to this commotion. She’s perpetually active, continually engaged, and always creating games she wants us to play.

“But after she leaves, we really miss her,” Rosemary adds.

To sweeten the parting after her last visit, Bernie made a collage card to mail to Amalia, using family family photos, including pictures of the new baby cousin. “So much is digital, these days, it’s nice to have something tangible to hold and put in her own space,” Rosemary observes.

At other times, the grandparents send letters. Sometimes, Amalia writes back.

“After a visit–to soothe me, mostly–I create a video from the still shots and videos we took to recap her visit. It helps me not to feel so sad. And Bernie and I enjoy re-watching the video many times!”

Sign Up to Get Grandma’s Favorite Recipes–Free!

Sign up here for my email newsletter. Every Wednesday, I’ll give you a new idea for an activity or insight to nurture the little ones in your life. And once you subscribe, I’ll send you a link so you can download your set of quick and easy recipes as my thanks to you.